Do you have something that you love to do? And by love, I mean when you’re doing it, you lose track of time? Feel inspired? Excited? Awake? A few weeks ago I attended a workshop and that was the very first question the teacher asked. And while many things came to mind, writing has always been something that has brought me great happiness. It allows me to lose myself for hours, recall, relive and fall in love over and over again. Which brings me to this little Blog.
You see, if “video killed the radio star” then Instagram killed my Blog. And while I LOVE Instagram (so much that my husband occasionally takes my phone away), I found myself missing words and connecting to the seven or eight loyal people who actually read my Blog.
So on this the eve of one of my favorite LOVE holidays, I’m sitting down to do what I love and breathing a little CPR into my Blog. Problem is, when I sat down to do just that, I found myself staring at a blank screen. Thankfully my phone lit up with an Instagram like and this welcomed distraction allowed me to scroll though my year in pictures which inspired this story.
First thing that hit me was, “WOW! I take WAY too many pics of my backyard, my dogs and my record player. I also noticed that as of late, I’ve been posting a ton of things about love, peace, happiness, joy and kindness.
Well, I feel obligated to come clean. To know me through Instagram is only one way; it’s the edited version, so I figured I’d share the unedited versions with you to explain why as of late, my posts have been all about LOVE.
At the end of last year, I found myself in a slump to end all slumps. While I was sharing an annoying amount of smiling vacation pics, fancy restaurant shots and happy grilled cheese sandwich posts, I was going through a rather hard bump in my life road.
After yet another failed attempt at baby making, I had given up on my greatest dream of having a child. My business took it’s first hit. I was hurt by people that I cared deeply for and found myself wanting to give up on all things that once brought me joy.
My life felt like that part in Goodfellas when Henry says, “these were the bad times”.
And then, the final left hook. In April, I lost my dearest friend, mentor and confidant to cancer. At the age of 69, my pal Lee Blumer left this earth for another and took a small piece of my heart with her. Empty, I had a big decision to make, I could either sink more deeply into the sadness and defeat I was feeling or in honor of Lee, I could choose to find myself again or more particularly the light that she said she saw in me, the magic she told me I had, yet didn’t believe existed anymore. I used one of the last texts she had sent me as my guide
“I miss your heart, you do so much, you give so much of your heart. I don’t need much but for you to inspire.”
And although I didn’t believe her at the time…I was going to try. So try I did.
I went back to work differently, with now a new found love for something that I had sadly started to take for granted. Instead of focusing on a few bad apples, I chose to be lifted by those who surrounded me, who’s light now shined more brightly.
I dusted off the cobwebs, pulled up my sleeves vowed to be grateful for everything I had rather than dwell on what I didn’t. I made the decision to be me again. To continue to believe in the good in people, to love openly, to share all I could give and to accept kindness and love again and pay it forward any chance I could get.
And guess what happened? Well, just about everything.
Doors opened more widely than ever before in business and in love. Incredible people began to pop out of the woodwork with opportunities and kindness. I was surrounded by a floodgate of excitement and renewed energy. I got more done in eight months than I had in years and was delighted that I was surrounded by good, hard working, caring individuals. I was going to write that book (which I did 😉 share my love and be generous with my kindness.
And wanna hear the absolute best part!?
Remember that piece of my heart that left with my pal Lee? Well, she’s sending it back to me. In a few short weeks, our miracle baby is set to arrive because of the kindness and love of a truly beautiful family.
So I guess my point (and not really sure there is one) is that a) don’t believe everyone’s shiny instagram life and b) pure and simply
Do what you love. Believe in love. Share your love. Tell someone you love them. Realize love is a required ingredient for miracles and know that I love you all SO much that I’m gonna share with you a delicious cocktail recipe.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
2 parts Prosecco
1 part Compari
2 Basil Leaves
Serve in rock glass over ice.